In this overly connected world, there is a fear of facing ourselves and the good, the bad, and the ugly that we are or have become. We no longer sit still and listen to the inner voice telling us about all our fears, demons, and ugliness. We don’t want to listen because once we hear them, we must act on them. It is just easier to be distracted by Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, the Internet, or the television than to deal with ourselves and our ugliness at times.

You might be asking yourself, why am I writing about mental health issues these days when that is not really my forte. It is because mental health in our connected world is more important than ever. We don’t take enough time to sit and ponder those things about ourselves that are both good and bad. When I am in my office working on a book, a blog post, or just sorting through pictures from long ago, I take that quiet time to reflect on where I am in life; the things I like, don’t like, and the things I want to change.

For me, during one moment of reflection, I realized that I wanted to write a novel, but in other moments, I had to reflect on the failures of my business, my relationships, and anger from assorted perceived personal shortcomings and slights. In doing so, I gave myself the opportunity to learn where I failed and how I reacted in certain situations. For example, when I feel the walls of work closing in around me; I am still kind to everyone outside my family, but Mom and Dad catch the brunt of my angst because they are easy targets. That’s something I need to work on because it’s not their fault that my day at work was not the greatest, but mine.

And, I know that when people start making a vacation or a trip that I am on with them about their schedule and don’t allow me room to plan a few things, I get antsy then at some point will get angry. When that happens, I’ll not want to travel with them and eventually, my angst poisons the relationship.

In other relationships, if it revolves primarily around the other person, it will be all right for a while, but if I determine after a period of time there is no reciprocation, I tend to end things rather abruptly. Why? Because I do not clearly enunciate my needs because I expect the other person to intuitively know without having to tell them. This is an unhealthy behavior, and I need to be as vocal about my needs as others are about theirs instead of bottling up the frustration until the anger boils over.

These quiet moments have allowed me to understand that and learn where I need to focus my life to make myself a better person. To find true happiness in life, I believe I must disconnect and take the time to get to know me, again. Throughout my life, those quiet moments have allowed me to listen to my inner voice and determine the path I want to take, and once I decide the track, there is a confidence that comes from knowing that anything I put my mind and heart into, I can accomplish.

To have this type of inner reflection is not easy and it takes years to master because you must be willing to hear and see the good, the bad, and the ugly of your life. The biggest problem is when your voice tells you the bad and the ugly of your life, do you tune it out by grabbing a device to distract yourself or do you embrace those issues? Your answer to that question will determine whether or not you can truly understand your life.

I think if you spend some time each day in reflection, your life will get better because you are not drowning yourself in the connected experience and are able to concentrate on the things in life that truly matter to you. Whether you believe it or not, you can get to know yourself better and increase your happiness through better self-awareness. Just remember this is an ongoing process that takes practice and reflection to reap the reward, but the return on that investment outweighs the short-term pain that self-reflection bring.